October 1, 2011


Dear Kurt,

Why is it that now that we are trying to have a baby that my menstrual cycle decides to go completely haywire on me?

I mean, super long periods and then extremely late ovulation cannot be a good thing when trying to conceive, right?

Well, that's what I thought, too. (not that you were really thinking about it. I know you try to avoid anything that has to do with this kind of stuff, if you can help it.)

So, today I decided to jump on google and see what I can find on the subject of late ovulation.

I didn't expect to find what I did.

My heart sunk at all the bad news late ovulation brings: the egg starts to go "bad" by the time it is released, I will likely start my next period before the fertilized egg can successfully implant, and I can have a chemical pregnancy.

I don't even know how to process this information right now.

Brooklyn was so easy to come by that I never even considered the fact that I could have a hard time getting pregnant.

I'm trying to come to grips with the idea that this may take a while.

I'm trying to figure out if we should even try until my cycle returns to normal, because I would hate to have a chemical pregnancy every month until it does.

I'm trying to not stress about it because that can't help.

I'm trying to tell myself that this isn't that big of a deal and there are people that try for years and years and sometimes still can't have a baby.

I'm trying.

I'm still sad. And a little confused. And probably over reacting.

But I'm trying.

I don't think conference weekend could have come at a better time for me. I know it will help.

I love you so much.

Sincerely, Lori