January 12, 2011



Dear Kurt,

Hours after we climbed into bed I was
still lying in bed with my eyes wide open, nowhere near sleep.

I couldn't shut my brain off.
I needed a mindless distraction. I decided to count to a billion.

One billion. I had to fall asleep before a billion, right? right!

When I got in the hundreds my mindless distraction became
anything but. Do people usually say one hundred AND thirty or just one hundred thirty? If I leave out the and's then I'll get to a billion a lot faster. Maybe I can just count to one hundred over and over a million times. That would equal a billion, right? No.... let's see... one billion... take away two zeros... stupid math. Never mind, I hate counting. No more counting.

Ok then.
How about abc's. Singing the abc's could definitely be mindless. I made it through a few times.... This is boring. But that is suppose to be the point. Maybe I could mix it up a bit. A... A,B... A,B,C... A,B,C,D... but now I had to use my brain to remember what letter I left off on. Ditch that idea.

Maybe if I think of falling down
an endless black hole. Yes. This will do. *slurp*. I started drooling. I'm not even asleep yet! It's because I'm sick and can't breathe properly through my nose... But the drooling is distracting my falling down my deep dark hole into sleep and now have to turn my pillow over. I will try breathing through my one working nostril. Okay... I'm falling again. *sniff*. Dang. Now my nose is leaking.

I give up.

I wake you up and ask if you want to go watch some tv with me.
You don't. So off I go to the living room all by my lonesome. Nothing could work better then some stupid infomercials to lull me to sleep. But I never did finish watching Lie To Me.... Maybe that could get me to sleep.

I wish.

What else could I do?
Sometimes after I eat a lot I get sleepy. Or maybe that is only on Thanksgiving?? I can't be sure. It's worth a try so I gobble down a huge bowl (or two) of cheerios while I watch Cal Lightman get himself locked into a metal institution. Yum! (the cheerios, not Lightman.)

Then Brooklyn wakes up.
Did she hear the tv? crap. So I put Brooklyn back down.

Now I am sitting in a quiet living room with your laptop on my lap.
If I can't sleep I might as well write about not sleeping. I hate not sleeping. But I love writing.

Hey this is working. I'm getting a little sleepy. I guess I'll go snuggle up to you in bed and hope for the best.

Wish me luck.

Sincerely, Lori