May 10, 2011


Dear all of Brooklyn's future boyfriends,

If you still want to date my daughter after you see this picture then you will be allowed one date.

After that, if you can endure endless questions about your intentions and ten year plans and such, then you can have another date.

And if you don't freak out when her dad threatens to cause bodily harm if you so much as think about doing anything more than kissing her or if you break her heart or if you bring her home even a second late, then you can have a third date.

After that, get lost.

There will no fourth dates until she is 20 and away at college where we will no longer have any say in how many dates she gets to have.

And just in case you think this is a joke, you should know that I would have no problem serving time in jail.

Sincerely, Brooklyn's mom