I ALMOST DIED

Dear Kurt,

I am alive!!!

Okay, I know that is slightly dramatic, but I did feel like it was touch and go there for a while.

So, here is how the last few day's went down:

After some great Easter fun we made our way home with me not feeling too great. I went straight to bed.

Late that night, Brooklyn woke up puking her guts out. After a screaming bath, she puked up some more.

And then some more.

I was quite miserable so you took care of her and eventually got her to go back to bed.

Meanwhile, I was tossing and turning and hurting so bad that I wished death would take me.

Finally around 4:30 am, I decided to break out the good stuff: Zofran.

I had about 20 tablets left over from my pregnancy and let me tell you: this stuff is like gold to me when I am pregnant. The fact that I waited until 4:30 to take it is proof of that.

But on my way to dig the pills out of the medicine cabinet, I stopped by the kitchen sink for my own little puking session.

After ridding my body of everything I ate in the last six months plus any stomach acid I had stored up, I took my precious pill and went to bed feeling a bit better.

Until morning that is.

The next ten hours I laid in bed thinking "this is the end."

I waited for flashes of happy moments and maybe some bright lights, but instead I got you trying to stuff medicine and gold fish into my mouth.

I cried for my mommy and later that night she showed up. Just in time for me to realized that my life was not over and I could maybe contemplate eating Easter dinner again sometime in the distant future.

Now I am feeling a ton better but now you are tucked in bed feeling a little nauseous yourself.

Poor boy.

Not a nice thank you for taking care of your sick wife and daughter, huh?

Well, I really did appreciate it. And now I can return the favor.

I'll even let you have some Zofran and stick gold fish down your throat.

I love you so much!

Sincerely, Lori

ANOTHER HOLIDAY EVE AT THE DOCTORS OFFICE

Dear Brooklyn,

We spent some of our Christmas eve sitting in a doctor's office.

You woke up in the middle of the night not feeling well. You haven't been feeling great for about a week now but this was different.... and all too familiar. I was positive it was another ear infection.

And of course it was on the eve of another holiday.

So after some time rocking you on the couch while you fell in and out of sleep and weighing our options we headed off to the doctors to get you some antibiotics.

After a surprisingly short wait, my diagnosis was confirmed and we were off to our Christmas eve party at your great-grandma's where you spent half the night sleeping on Grandpa Killian and the other half snuggling with me, even with all the craziness going on.

So now you are curled up in your crib sleeping and the house is clean and ready for Santa to come. I hope you sleep well and wake up happy and excited for Christmas.

I love you very much.

Sincerely, Lori

MY POOR, SICK LITTLE BABY

KURT AND BROOKLYN SLEEPING ON THE COUCH AFTER A LONG NIGHT

Dear Brooklyn,

You have been really sick the whole time we have been in California.

You haven't really slept unless someone was holding you and even then it was a pretty restless sleep. You have eaten barely anything in three days. Your temperature has been in the 100's. Yesterday you threw up all over me... a lot. Today you stopped drinking.

MOM HOLDING BROOKLYN AFTER A LONG NIGHT

You are simply miserable. I want to cry for you.

I suspected an ear infection since Sunday but your ears looked fine. Until today. Today your left ear is draining a ton of stuff. We took you to a doctor and after going to almost every pharmacy in town, got you on some strong antibiotics.

BROOKLYN TAKING A NAP ON HER AUNT CHRISTINA

I'm really hoping you feel better by tomorrow because Aunt Brittney, Uncle Job, and Porter are coming.

Get well quickly, little one. Until then you have lots of people here who love you and will hold you and rock you.

I love you so much.

Sincerely, Mom

BROOKLYN TAKING A NAP ON HER MOMMY.

A SLEEPLESS NIGHT AT THE KILLIAN RESIDENCE

BROOKLYN CUDDLING WITH HER MOMMY.

Dear Brooklyn,

Last night you woke up at midnight and have barely slept since unless your dad or I were holding you.

At first we weren't sure why you weren't sleeping. We thought teething may be the culprit, but around 3 am I realized that you were pretty stuffed up and about and hour later you were coughing a lot. I guess you were hit with a nasty cold.

Your dad rocked you to sleep several times and held you for hours. Then I spent the remainder of the night holding you and soothing you back to sleep when you woke up. Then your dad spent most of the morning cuddling and playing with you so I could catch a couple hours of sleep.

Today you are a lot happier then I expected. Your nose is running like crazy and you won't take a decent nap but you are happy and playing and laughing.

Tonight I hope you sleep better then last night but I'm not expecting you to, so your dad and I are ofF to bed early.

I love you.

Get better really, really soon.

Sincerely, Mom

THANKS FOR THE LITTLE THINGS

Dear Kurt,

Thank you for taking care of me. You are amazing.

I woke up feeling awful but you had to go help your grandma so you couldn't stay home to make me feel better.

I was a little stressed about getting our grumpy little girl down for a nap. This is always a job that takes at least one healthy person. But when I went to get her ready for her nap, you had everything prepared. The bottle ready, the blanket laid you, the binkies found and put in the crib.... I really appreciate it.

I wasn't a lot but it meant the world to me at that moment. Thank you.

I love you.

Sincerely, Lori

A VISIT TO THE DOCTORS

Dear Brooklyn,

We went to the doctors today because you started pulling on your ear and I was worried that you were getting an ear infection.

You're not.

But you had fun there anyways.

Sincerely, Lori

SUPER SICK

Dear Brooklyn,

You are really sick.

I'm sick too but you are really sick. The sickest you have ever been.

It is sad. Especially when you want to suck on your binky but you can't breath through your nose so you end up gasping for air. And when you sneeze and have snot running all the way down to your chin.

And you can't sleep which makes us both even more miserable.

I hate to see you like this because there isn't much I can do for you.

I really hope this one passes quickly.

Sincerely, Lori

FOOD POISONING

Dear Kurt,

Do you think I have food poisoning?

I woke at 2 in the morning and my stomach and chest hurt so bad that I couldn't go back to sleep. The whole time I thought I was going to have to run to the bathroom and throw up.

Three years ago I had food poisoning and this was how I felt. So all night long I thought "this is definitely food poisoning."

It's now 3:00 p.m. and I haven't thrown up... weird for food poisoning, right? Right. Last time I had food poisoning I threw up dozens of times within the first 24 hours.

Then I got to thinking "could I be pregnant?"

I have been counting and re-counting the days. No. I couldn't be pregnant. Could I? I probably wouldn't be feeling sick this soon.... I'm not ready to be pregnant again.

So after much contemplation I have come to this conclusion. I am not pregnant. It's way to early to be sick cause I would have gotten pregnant within the last week.

Phew. What a relief.

Now that that is cleared up - what's wrong with me?

Sincerely, Lori

MY ACHING BACK

Dear Kurt,

My back hurts. I can't stand up straight. I can't even hold Brooklyn unless I am sitting down.

Tomorrow is going to suck. Brooklyn is sick and will want to be held and walked around sometimes and I won't be able to do it.

I am sad. I hope it goes away soon.

Sincerely, Lori

"TIS HEALTHY TO BE SICK SOMETIMES"

Dear Kurt,

You got me sick.

It's just a cold but it's the 5th one I've had since Brooklyn was born.

Henry David Thoreau said "Tis healthy to be sick sometimes." It can't be healthy to be sick this many times in six months.

My immune system is probably shot. I need to google "how to boost my immune system." Any ideas?

I wish you were home today to take care of me, a.k.a watch Brooklyn while I take an extremely long and hot bath. That sounds so nice right now.

The good news is that I don't think it will last long. I feel like it is already draining from me. Let's hope tomorrow I will be all better so we can enjoy your day off.

Sincerely, Lori